The Crack Shack’s chickens refuse to be excluded from the Fried Chicken Sandwich competition ballot.

What the cluck, America? We, the beyond-free-range chickens of The Crack Shack, demand to know why the chirp about which Sandwich is “best” has been limited to those made with industrially-farmed birds served by multi-national corporations.

Sure, maybe we like to be pampered—but who doesn’t love a spa day? Maybe we do stick to all natural, vegetarian diets—but what’s wrong with watching our figure? Maybe we don’t have regular farm parents but “cool parents” who allow us to roam freer than other birds. As American Chickens, we deserve equal consideration, despite not fitting in with the factory farm contenders.

It’s time to put an end to the exclusivity of this social media tiff. Let’s make this contest fair and equitable.  Because we deserve a shot at proving that happier birds = superior sandwiches.

Stand up for the rights of the bougie birds--sign this petition asking for equal consideration, and spread the good bird word to your peeps so they too can join the fight for justice!