Precarious Living In Spain
I was left in a precarious situation by an emotionally abusive ex-partner. He ended our relationship and wanted to remain friends, but at the same time became more threatening and intimidating. Initially, he offered a 50/50 settlement of our home, then within days he threatened to throw me out onto the streets. With no name on the property title, not being married and having no income, I found myself vulnerable. Just two weeks after leaving me, he was taking legal action under "precarious eviction" laws in Spain. 
I have tried ten times to negotiate with a man who told me I could not negotiate with him.  I face being made "homeless" in Spain due to the failure of the legal system and the gaps in the laws. 

The legal advice I was given was conflicting. 
1. Remain in the property and negotiate. This had been the main option. However, due to the abusive nature of the communication from the former partner, it was impossible. August / September 2020
2. File a gender violence / domestic abuse complaint. Which was something I didn't want to do. The solicitor's advice was repeated to me. File a gender violence complaint. October 2020
3. The next legal advice came from the ex-partner's Solicitor. I requested cooperation and mediation as I did not wish to file the GV complaint. The solicitor warned me to be careful as I could be prosecuted with a false claim. He knew of a stream of colleagues who would give that advice with no real facts. 
3. When the GV case was dismissed in court in January 2021. The next legal advice was also conflicting. At the CAVI organisation from the lawyers, do not appeal or file further gender violence you will make him angry. Remain in the property. Negotiate. He was already angry. With no legal representation or any financial support, this advice was also impossible. March 2021

It's time for change. 
This personal experience highlights a broader issue that affects many individuals and couples married or not who are going through separations or divorces - the role of legal professionals can often exacerbate conflict and inflate costs rather than help resolve disputes amicably. Often it is not both parties who are pursuing conflict it can be forced through by one high-conflict individual (Usually the angry dominant controlling party with more power in the relationship, the other party is often more vulnerable and has usually been financially dependent)

Post Separation Abuse

Domestic violence (DV) is more than just physical abuse. During the relationship, domestic violence can be coercive control, physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse, and financial abuse. When the relationship ends, the abuse does not stop, it just transitions to a new form of abuse referred to as post-separation abuse.

After the relationship ends, the perpetrator exerts power and control through the legal system, child custody battles, conflict over property and financial settlements. Often the victim survivor is vulnerable and traumatised from years of emotional and psychological abuse and in some cases they can end up homeless, emotionally and financially devastated and the legal system supports this. 

Consistent Advice
We call for legislation requiring all legal representation in cases of non-married or married couples to follow consistent advice. This will prevent further conflict and reduce unnecessary legal costs associated with separations and divorces.  

KEY POINTS
- Domestic abusers often exert control over their ex-partners through the legal system.
- Post-separation legal abuse takes a tremendous psychological toll on victim-survivors and children.
- The legal system often mistakes legal abuse for "high conflict divorce"
- Conflicting legal advice does not support domestic abuse victim-survivors

When abusers use the courts to harass their ex-partners, judges sometimes consider “the couple” as the problem, failing to identify the legal manipulations as a form of continued abuse.

Out Of Court Legal Mediation 
Moreover, we urge that out-of-court mediation be made the first option in all such cases before resorting to litigation. With the use of video conferences and legal and professional services, vulnerable individuals would not be subjected to having to meet with or communicate with an abusive ex-partner. There should be two legal professionals not just one as I know from other people's experiences and my own experience that this does not work. Negotiations have to be between two legal professionals on each side. With the right advice and professionals who can see past the manipulation tactics, there can be a better outcome for victim-survivors who are subjected to post-separation abuse.

According to statistics from The National Conflict Resolution Center (NCRC), mediation results in agreement 70-80% of the time (source: NCRC). Making it mandatory could save countless individuals from emotional distress and financial hardship. 

Join us in advocating for fairer treatment during these difficult times by signing this petition today.