This is a collective polite request for Pulp to play Silence on NYE 2023 at Hogmanay Edinburgh. We know you don’t do requests, but we’re asking really nicely.

It would make a lot of sense. Doesn’t even have to be right before midnight. Please? We’re not above begging.

(Actually, we aren't above begging. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.)

To support one's argument, it is necessary to provide evidence, as any fule kno. I refer to the forthright opinion of experienced music critic Neil Oxley-Bicycle:

"Millennia ago, in the age before such trifles as literature, Boddington's, and party rings, humans made music for the first time. But that first music probably wasn't the melodic, tuneful song of today. It would have been more skin to a primal scream of bewildered fear and rage.

"Imagine an early human man, on an expedition to hunt for creatures which might sustain him and his kin a day longer. Armed with his club he goes out to explore. But, in the wilderness, he's ambushed by... a great, big, cat thing. One of the pointy-toothed ones, you know? Anyway, the man screams in terror, and he flees. As he flees he steps in the coiled faeces of the creature. This song is like that excrement: born of hostile times it may nourish the musical soil, bringing forth life and tradition. This song is like faeces."

Who can truly disagree?