Give Punxsutawney Phyliss the same Elixir of Life that her husband receives

Give Punxsutawney Phyliss the same Elixir of Life that her husband receives

Started
October 10, 2022
Signatures: 3Next Goal: 5
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Why this petition matters

Started by Michael V.

At Countdown to Groundhog Day, we love groundhogs, and we love Groundhog Day.

Punxsutawney Phil is, of course, one of the most well famous groundhogs in the world. Since 1887, Phil has been giving a prediction on Groundhog Day, letting the world know how much more we'll have. 

As you may or may not know however, there has only ever been one Punxsutawney Phil, meaning he's over 135 years old. Most groundhogs in captivity only live 10-15 years on average, so how is it possible that Phil is still alive?

Well, the answer is simple: every summer Phil is given 1 sip of a magical 'Elixir of Life' that keeps him alive an additional 7 years.

The thing is, Phil is married, to a lovely groundhog named Phyliss. "Surely", you're thinking, "Phyliss must receive the magical elixir as well?"

Sadly, according to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club's website, this is not the case. This means that, sooner or later, Phyliss will die, and Phil will have to witness her death. He'll then have to live, since he's essentially immortal, with his sadness and loss for the remainder of time. 

We don't think this is cool, for either Phil or Phyliss. She doesn't deserve to die, while her husband lives forever, and he doesn't deserve to have his beloved wife taken from him, when there is an easy solution which allows them to stay together forever.

That's why we're asking the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club to change their policy, and start giving Phyliss the 'Elixir of Life' every year too, just like her husband. It seems cruel to do anything else.

It's not like Punxsutawney Phil is an action star who needs a new love interest every single movie. He's not James Bond, Indiana Jones, or even Austin Powers. This is real life! There's absolutely no reason not to give Phyliss a sip of a magical potion that will prolong her life indefinitely, so she and Phil can stay together forever.

So Please Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, do the right thing. Let the groundhogs be happy.

If you want to read more, read our blog post about this important issue.

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Signatures: 3Next Goal: 5
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